Tuesday, June 29, 2010

A Little Sad

On the weekend I went through the boys closets and cleaned them out. Broken toys were tossed, other toys put in a box to give away and some were put into rubbermaids to be brought out again in a few months to make them new and exciting again. Clothes too small for Cavan were put into a box for a friend to sort through for her baby girl. Clothes too small for Hunter were sorted with some going straight to Cavan since he is growing like a weed and the rest to the same friend for her little boy.

I am not the type of person who needs to hold on to a lot of mementos from my past. So far, for the boys all I have kept are their wrist bands from the hospital, sleepers that Matt bought them, and some fur booties and mittens. Everything else has been given away because I feel better about these things being put to good use instead of collecting dust in my basement.

But then I came to the baby quilts. Cavan has moved up to a large fleecy blanket that he is in love with and sleeps with every night. These quilts were handmade with love from friends and family and I just couldn't part with them. I now have an entire rubbermaid of quilts and I have no clue what I will do with them. Maybe I could find someone to somehow fashion them into two large blankets for each of the boys. I know someone out there could really use them, but I just cannot part with them and it is such an odd feeling.

Then I was brought to tears when I pulled out my infant packing shirt. Hunter was packed around in it for the first six months of his life. Cavan was as well, but not as much as Hunter. Learning how to amaaq my children was something so special I learned during my time in the arctic. To have your baby ride along on your back, snug and warm, and to feel their chest against your back as they breathe is such a beautiful experience. I realized I will never get that opportunity again since we will not be having anymore children. It is now in the rubbermaid with the quilts and I know that I will never be able to part with it. Perhaps I will be able to amaaq my grandchildren in it when I am old. Cavan still rides in my packing vest made for larger babies, but it just isn't the same as when they are tiny. I was surprised at how emotional I became over a small piece of fabric.

It is a really good thing I sent Matt to the vet to be fixed a couple of months ago, or else I would have been asking him for another baby right about now! Maybe I should start asking for a puppy instead.

Thankfully my amouti is big enough to still even carry Hunter in it if I wanted to this winter! I will be packing Cavan as much as I can, although I doubt it will be much since he is Mr. Independent and wants to walk everywhere himself.

I wonder if one day I will be kicking myself for not hanging on to more of the baby stuff. But I have pictures, videos, and am printing out this blog year by year as hard cover books that document all of the craziness of our lives with little boys. I hope that will suffice.

So parents... what baby stuff are you holding onto? Any of it bring you to tears lately?

7 comments:

Unknown said...

Sent him to the vet to be fixed? hahahahaha You know you can have that undone, right? ;)

My Mom and Nana had cedar chest where they kept those things from our childhoods that meant the most to them. Our christening dresses, baby blankets, baby albums, school pictures and report cards etc..

I'm sure it is emotional trying to decide what to keep and what to pass on. ((Hug))

Erica said...

I'd be happy to take a look at the quilts and see if there is something I can do ^_^

Aida said...

i had a yard sale last week, got rid of most of the kids stuff. the only stuff i am keeping are

- my first winter amauti, i carried both kids in it.
- a wrap that i made that Frank wore the entire time when Ben was a baby, its a simple piece of cloth but i just cant bear to sell it, let alone wash it!
- 2 baby quilts that my MIL made them and my first baby quilt that i made for Ava.

and of course the usual, wrist tags, sleepers that we bought for them.i am keeping one top that i made Ava, its special to me, took me awhile to get the neat fabric.

Ava clothes went to a little girl living down the street and Ben's clothes went to a little boy i know from playgroup. i hate the clutter.

Morena said...

No tears but I've kept
-the Santa hat Oliver got in the hospital since he was born christmas morning.
-My baby blanket that my mom has passed on to me. I brought Oliver home and it and I'll bring #2 in it as well.
-Wrist bands too of course.

So far that's it. I'm trying to keep the 'pack-ratting' to a minimum. I'm bad for that.

Heather, aka: Mum said...

receiving blankets that were made for us...Quilts that I made (they were my first two ever) Hand knit sweaters...a couple of outfits that I bought them when I was pregnant and all of their moccasins that have been hand make by local elders...& their first dresses from my parents...All things I hope to be used by my grandkids!

We have completely outfitted three other families, with little girls, with the vast number of outfits we have had!! One family has twins too!) It's a great feeling to pass along really nice things that will be used by other perfectly beautiful little girls!! :)

As for the hard cover book...fantastic idea...think I'll steal that one !! Thanks Kara!! ;)

Anonymous said...

Hey Kara, I kept the usual stuff, wrist tags, name tags, but for Ayla I kept her first bikini, first pair of real shoes, one of each size of diaper, and an engraved spoon. I think that's it!! For Damon I kept a onesie, am going to do the diaper thing, and not sure what else!! Oh, I also kept their hats that they got in the hospital. I don't like a lot of sutff around either. I will eventually buy each child a chest and fill it with these things. Also, I am trying to scrapbook too to try and remember little things, like how Ayla first started saying "kitty", it sounded like "titi".

I love the idea that you are getting your blog made into books, I think that is such a cool thing!!!

Freya

Carole said...

"It is a really good thing I sent Matt to the vet to be fixed a couple of months ago..."

I think I nearly died laughing! Still ROFLMAO