Tuesday, September 30, 2014

See ya later, snow!

The boys were so excited to see the snow fly today that they asked if we really have to leave tomorrow to head to Nova Scotia.  I am pretty sure their Grandparents would lose their minds if we didn't show up.  So see ya later, snow!  We are off for a three week adventure to Nova Scotia.

We haven't been out to Cape Breton in three years and Matt's folks are missing their grandkids something fierce.  This trip will be a good once since we can easily ditch the boys with their Nan and Pops and we can get some adult time. 

I am sure the three weeks will go by much too quickly and we have a lot of fun plans in the works.

We have a weekend planned with friends up at our property (where Matt's folks have built a great little house that we get to use), meeting a blogger friend who is from Cape Breton but lives in the Netherlands with her husband, museum visits, movie theatre trips, park visits (the boys remember chasing ducks the last time we were there and they think they can catch one this time), and a trip down to Lunenburg to see great friends of ours who moved back to Nova Scotia after five years in the Yukon.

And exciting things will be happening in our house while we are away.  We have demolished our kitchen and a local contractor is busy custom building new cabinets.  I will be getting an entirely new kitchen!  A wall is being taken out, appliances all moved about, new paint- the works!!  I cannot wait to come home to a brand new kitchen.

So have a lovely October, everyone!  See ya soon, Nova Scotia!

Demolition experts! 

It isn't a Went Family Activity until someone bleeds.  Matt got 3 stitches!

New kitchen coming soon!

Well hello, winter!

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Quadding on the Dena Cho

We took the boys on a great quadding trip a couple of weekends ago.  There is a trail that connects Faro and Ross River called the Dena Cho Trail.  To go the entire trail is nearly 70km, but we only went in just over 30km.  The trail is not in the best condition.  It has been largely neglected other than a few locals who take time to clear it out on their own time.  But the views on this trail make it completely worth the trouble of hauling along a chain saw.

The weather was perfect for the weekend and it was great to explore a trail we have never been down.  There are warming cabins along the trail and we slept in a different one each of our two nights out.  Cramped quarters, but perfect for just the four of us.

We spent a lot of time clearing the trail, tidying up the cabins, clearing the area around the cabins, and splitting and stacking wood.  So the first 30km and the first two cabins are ready to go!  There was a great high bush cranberry patch at the second cabin that I happily pillaged.  The boys ran wild all weekend with sticks and rocks and their imaginations. 

Matt and I celebrated our 11th wedding anniversary while we were out there.  Pretty great way to celebrate!  I even managed to get a bottle of beer out there without it breaking to surprise him.  

The boys are already asking when we can head down the trail again.

Matt and his assistants.

Huge cottonwood we had to cut through.

Forced to sit nice by their mama.

One of the warming cabins.

Inside.  Wood stove and table.

Benches.  Plexi windows that open.

Snug in their sleeping bags for the night.

Very sketchy bridge.

The views!

Happy to be out exploring.

The Went family on the banks of the Pelly River.

Always fun when there are rocks and water.

Washed out bridge at the second cabin.

Me and my guys.

So stunning!

Monday, September 22, 2014

Entertaining Painting

Cavan loves to paint and when we were digging through a bag of goodies that were given out last spring at the school, he found a tray of water paints (well, not sure what you call them- the ones that are dry and you dip your brush in water and wet them).  He has been going through paper like a lunatic and the paint tray is nearly empty as well.

I wouldn't say we have much talent in this department, but we definitely have fun.  All of our creations are always taped up around the house for everyone admire/giggle at. 

Here are our creations from this afternoon:

Today's creations.

I asked Cavan which two paintings he was most proud of and these were his choices:
A monster with a shark head.

A dirtbike.
Cavan asked me to paint a cat in a tree.  Yeah....  I guess it is a cat?  ahaah

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Birthday Surprises

This fall my family was able to pull a good one on my dad.  His actual birthday was back in June and it was his 65th.  It came and went with little fan-fare.  That is because we had planned a big surprise party for him for this fall to catch him completely unaware. 

I flew down to northern BC and seeing his face when I walked into his newly built shop/nearly-a-second-house was stellar.  Then more and more people started showing up and what a party it turned out to be.  There were quads, and guns, and a pig roast, and a hell of a lot of good times had by all.

And a fun time for me since I got to leave the husband and kids behind, fly by myself, enjoy an unscheduled  layover in Calgary where I got to see friends I have seen in seven years, and get some quality time in with my three nephews. 

Then I came home and we celebrated my birthday a day early since my husband had to head to Whitehorse for a course.  I didn't realize we were celebrating early until we were a ways down a quad trail with the boys and he pulled a new gun out of the old gun case and handed it to me!  Wooooo!   I have wanted a lever action .22 for a long time (just like the one I used to use a kid but my mother refuses to let me have it now- mum you are mean).   The boys knew about it and had kept it all a secret.  Pretty fantastic surprise!  Then I was spoiled the next day by friends with cheesecake and lots of other presents. Maybe turning 35 isn't all that bad after all!

My dad and brother manning the pig roaster.

My brother stuck in the muck!

Birthday cake surprise for my dad!  Funny.... no one took a piece from the bottom right side of the cake.

Cutest nephew ever.

I have the best sister-in-law.
Stuck in the muck on my birthday.  I must have learned this from my brother.

Birthday gun!

Letting the boys try my new gun.

Thursday, September 4, 2014

Garden: The End

Yesterday the kids and I pulled up the garden and put everything away.  We had a fantastic summer of growing even with our crappy weather.  Having that greenhouse built (I love you husband!!) really made my summer fun.  I am already planning for what I want to grow in there next spring.

I have two tables set up in the house now with tomatoes, peppers, and squash still growing.  Heating the greenhouse wasn't very cost effective and I have the space with great lighting in my dining room. 

I did well with the haul of veggies this year.  We dug up 75lbs of spuds and had probably already eaten 20lbs this summer.  Carrots were kinda sad.... maybe 5lbs in the bucket?  We ate them for the last month too, but this year was nothing like last year!  My fridge is full of cucumbers for us to eat and pickles have been made.  My freezer has about 20 cups of homemade pasta sauce from my tomatoes and I am hoping the rest ripen up here in the house so I can stash away a bit more.  The peppers are really producing now and the few squash I have I am hoping to actually be able to eat them in a few weeks!


This mama knows how to make her kids work!

Lots of potatoes!

Sad amount of carrots!

Empty until next season.

So bare!

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Getting out of that funk

While I have my shit days once every couple of months, I am very thankful that they are not longer lasting.  I have a few days of feeling blue and then I am able to pull myself out with some reflection on the issue, a bit of writing, confiding in friends, and quiet time.   Am I depressed?  I don't really think so.  Do I have anxiety?  Yeah, I think so.  Maybe some body dysmorphic disorder?   

Sometimes I wonder if medications would help, but I really don't think I am at that point.  I think I need more help in techniques to help me realize my bad days, what leads to them, and how to work through them without eating or lashing out at others.  I need to work on having more self confidence.  Trusting that I am loved by those around me.  Feeling strong in my role as a mother, wife, and friend.

I took time with just my family on the weekend.  I caught up on sleep.  Then I came home and got to work in my garden and my kitchen.  Keeping myself busy with my kids and around the house really does wonders for my mental health and general outlook on life.

So over the last few days the boys and I have picked raspberries and made jam.  I have tended to my garden and put up a number of jars of homemade pasta sauce.  We have gone for walks and played board games.  Watched a movie with my husband.  And baked a heap of stuff for a Farmer's Market.  I feel good.

My garden and greenhouse are awesome.

I have now canned 15 cups of pasta sauce.

Gardening really is good for the soul

Some of the bread for a bake sale.

Baking and canning really does relieve stress for me!

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Brutally Hard

Again, over this last week it hit me how much emotional turmoil is left in the wake of extreme weight loss.  And it is brutally hard.  So brutally hard that I was bawling my eyes out in my friend's truck.

The six feet of scars I have from my reconstructive skin surgery are nothing in comparison to the emotional scars I have from a lifetime of obesity. 

The stares. 
The hurtful comments. 
Being left out.
Being left behind.
Children pointing and laughing.
Adults pointing and laughing.

Those emotional scars have left in their wake a woman with feelings of very little self worth, very little self esteem, and very little self confidence. 

Not really how I pictured myself nearly three years out of having weight loss surgery.  I dreamt I would feel amazing, not just physically but emotionally.  But I am just not there yet.

I have my up weeks and then my down days.  Thankfully my up time lasts a lot longer than my down, but that down time is absolutely exhausting.  Is this just normal?  Does everyone experience this? 

I am still learning how to deal with my emotions without eating.  I am not used to feeling these ups and downs and I really don't know how to deal with them.  I would rather just binge eat instead of feeling those bleak moments.  The emotions overwhelm me and I don't know what to do.  I retreat inwards, shut down, feel lost and alone.

It is hard not having anyone to talk to in person who understands what I am experiencing.  I have friends online that I can talk to who have had dramatic weight loss, and many of them are going through the same experiences.  At least I know I am not alone.

Getting in some quiet time; trying to recharge after a hard week.