It were my ferst twip to da poowl. I don't tink it waz all mummy said it wud be. I were cold and my nuts nearwly turned to peas.
Oh mum, do I weally have to do dis?
Qwit teazing me. Eider in or out.
Dad! Come save me and my nuts! Yous a man! You understand!
I tink I will take a nap:
Well hello bootiful! Mum you din't tell me der was gurls here!
Oh mum. Don't humiweate me in front of da gurl.
Hmmm dis don't wook good. What are dey pwanning?
gurgle gurgle gurgle...
AIR! PWECIOUS AIR!
Maybe if I put mine finger in mine mouf I will barf and den dey has to take me out!