Addictions are not fun. Food addiction is no better (or worse) than any other addiction.
Yesterday I had a great morning. Ate a great breakfast, did my house cleaning, went to the park, but then in the afternoon I just felt cranky. I don't even know why.
Of course I turned to food. I snacked all damn afternoon and evening. Instead of trying to get to the root of why food was needed, I just stuffed my face.
Binges are nothing like what they used to be. I still logged all of my food and my calorie count was just around 2000 calories when it should be a maximum of 1200. A year ago, a binge day would easily be between 6000 and 10 000 calories. And my binge food was still pretty healthy, but I just continued to eat little snacks all day.
I was cranky with my husband and had to apologize at bedtime for lashing out. Poor bugger just didn't know what to do with me. I am sure he was ready to whack me upside the head with a big stick and leave me 50km out of town.
I found myself wishing for someone to follow me around during the day with a stock prod. They could give me a zap each time I tried to graze on food that I didn't need. Anyone want the job?
Today I just need a break from food. So it is going to be a fluid and veggie day. I have never done that before, but I just need to get away from food today.
So after my tea, I am heading into the kitchen to cut up some veggies for the day. Tomorrow back to my regular schedule.
But I must still be on the right track overall- down 103.5lbs now.
4 comments:
Good for you for recognizing your bad day. Good luck with your day today though! I think I could use a fluid and veggie type of day as well just to help cleanse out the weekend :-)
Hugs, thinking of you today!
You are such a brave and strong woman! Brave for recognizing a challenging day and sharing it with us and strong for both getting to where you are and continuing your journey. Every time I read one of your posts I think 'man, Kara is so awesome!'. Sending you hugs from here!
Addictions are very, very hard to beat. I still struggle with it every day. You are strong. You can do this.
If Matt left you 50km out of town just think of all that walking you'd get in! :)
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