Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Time for a stock prod?

Addictions are not fun.  Food addiction is no better (or worse) than any other addiction.

Yesterday I had a great morning.  Ate a great breakfast, did my house cleaning, went to the park, but then in the afternoon I just felt cranky.  I don't even know why.

Of course I turned to food.  I snacked all damn afternoon and evening.  Instead of trying to get to the root of why food was needed, I just stuffed my face.

Binges are nothing like what they used to be.  I still logged all of my food and my calorie count was just around 2000 calories when it should be a maximum of 1200.  A year ago, a binge day would easily be between 6000 and 10 000 calories.  And my binge food was still pretty healthy, but I just continued to eat little snacks all day.

I was cranky with my husband and had to apologize at bedtime for lashing out.  Poor bugger just didn't know what to do with me.  I am sure he was ready to whack me upside the head with a big stick and leave me 50km out of town.

I found myself wishing for someone to follow me around during the day with a stock prod.  They could give me a zap each time I tried to graze on food that I didn't need.  Anyone want the job? 

Today I just need a break from food.  So it is going to be a fluid and veggie day.  I have never done that before, but I just need to get away from food today. 

So after my tea, I am heading into the kitchen to cut up some veggies for the day.  Tomorrow back to my regular schedule.

But I must still be on the right track overall- down 103.5lbs now.


Trish said...

Good for you for recognizing your bad day. Good luck with your day today though! I think I could use a fluid and veggie type of day as well just to help cleanse out the weekend :-)

Hugs, thinking of you today!

lesley said...

You are such a brave and strong woman! Brave for recognizing a challenging day and sharing it with us and strong for both getting to where you are and continuing your journey. Every time I read one of your posts I think 'man, Kara is so awesome!'. Sending you hugs from here!

Megan said...

Addictions are very, very hard to beat. I still struggle with it every day. You are strong. You can do this.

Elaina said...

If Matt left you 50km out of town just think of all that walking you'd get in! :)