A few days ago, a friend had this statement on her facebook status:
Don't make somebody a priority when they think of you as an option.
I have been reflecting a lot lately as to how I want my life to be. A couple of posts back I mentioned that I try to avoid negative people in this community and instead have been working on finding a positive group of people to associate with. The statement above sums up what else I have been working on.
Have you ever taken a personality test? I remember doing one once and I was deemed to be a helper-type person. It was pretty accurate. I find myself always trying to help people in anyway I can. Usually it is just easy stuff like cooking for a sick friend, or lending out a kitchen gadget or baby item. Also, after being bullied for so many years in middle and high school, I also worry if I see anyone being left out. I like to make sure people feel welcome.
This personality trait is fine by me! I honestly enjoy helping others and I think I am good at it. But there are times when I know I am going out of my way for people that are leaches. I am sure there wasn't a section for leaches on that personality test, but I bet you all know someone who fits that category. Leaches will suck you dry- whether it is for items that they use and abuse or even worse, for sapping all your energy and joy. Leaches only associate with other leaches unless they need something from you. Then they turn into sugar-filled friendly leaches. But after they suck your energy, they turn into just regular leaches once again.
When my friend posted that statement on facebook, it helped me to realize I am still making some people a priority in my life when they only think of me as an option. It is time for me to re-prioritize where my time and energy is spent. I have made small steps in that direction, but it is time for me to make some leaps and bounds instead.
12 comments:
You Go Girl!!! I think I probably scored the similar to you, although not much for cooking.... either way I recognize and own it! I was never as happy as the day I graduated High School. Leaches be damned I say!
I know exactly what you mean! I'm the type to think the leach probably does need my help this time... I also have a couple of very introverted friends that do need a lot more of my time just to pull them out of their shells. (and that's saying something considering how introverted I can be! lol!)
I hear ya. Good "food for thought" post.
I really like that quote!! I am people pleaser, always wanting and seeking approval. Getting better as I get older, trying to rely on myself and not worry about what other people think, but it's hard sometimes!!
Freya
I don't think I've ever taken a personality test or maybe I have... I bet it said my memory is awful... ha ha
But good for you! Isn't it wonderful to come to these realizations at this point in our lives when you have the strength to make a change? It would have never happened in our youth!
Something to make me think tonight. Thanks!
Kara - I also know what you are talking about in this post! Just the other day, I was in a situation with a particular person and thought to myself, "why didn't I stand up for myself and tell them that they were being rude to me?" Sometimes I can be too nice and I am working on having more of a backbone and standing up for myself.
Very thought-provoking post Kara! I'd be interested in taking a personality test since I've been accused of everything from not having a personality to being way over the top....lol.
Some of these self-realizations that you have written about (parenting, food issues, leaches, etc) are some things that I am going through too. So it is comforting to know that you are making effort and it is encouraging me too. I am rooting for you and also thanking you!
Tell your friend I am stealing her quote and posting it on my facebook page. I love it. I have been making myself over for the past 18+ months. It is a long often hard journey. Part of it has been/is getting rid of the negative people in my life it is hard but worth it. Thanks for bringing me along on your journey.
I had this conversation with a colleague just this week. We were talking about energy and how some people manage to syphon all your energy because they are so needy and negative. I've come a long way in protecting myself from such people, but I still have a ways to go. Thanks for the reminder.
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