Once an addict....

Always an addict.

I am a food addict and I am sure I will always be one.  In the past, a lot of my binging was done in secret where no one could see.  Food has been my friend; it has always there to comfort me when times were tough (or even when times were good).  The habit is hard to break- no different that becoming alcohol or drug free.

This week a friend gave us a few rubbermaids of food since she is moving away.  In the rubbermaids was a small container of nutella and one of maple butter.  Instantly I went back into old habits- stash in the cupboard where no one could see.  Yesterday I pulled them out and had about two tablespoons of nutella and about the same of the maple butter.  And I felt sick, physically sick.  I had a headache within minutes and thought I would throw up.

In my old life I would have eaten both jars in a day.  Easily.

In my new life, I put them in a bag and gave them away.  I didn't even want to put them in my garbage can for fear of trying to pull them out again.

I am so thankful for my new life.  Once in which I still fall down, but am discovering the tools to pick myself up again and move on.