Always an addict.
I am a food addict and I am sure I will always be one. In the past, a lot of my binging was done in secret where no one could see. Food has been my friend; it has always there to comfort me when times were tough (or even when times were good). The habit is hard to break- no different that becoming alcohol or drug free.
This week a friend gave us a few rubbermaids of food since she is moving away. In the rubbermaids was a small container of nutella and one of maple butter. Instantly I went back into old habits- stash in the cupboard where no one could see. Yesterday I pulled them out and had about two tablespoons of nutella and about the same of the maple butter. And I felt sick, physically sick. I had a headache within minutes and thought I would throw up.
In my old life I would have eaten both jars in a day. Easily.
In my new life, I put them in a bag and gave them away. I didn't even want to put them in my garbage can for fear of trying to pull them out again.
I am so thankful for my new life. Once in which I still fall down, but am discovering the tools to pick myself up again and move on.