Only two weeks now to go until I have my weight loss surgery. If I think about it too long I feel like I am going to yak from the nerves! Good thing I have two rambunctious boys to keep me distracted (and who gave them the bright idea that the floor lamp would make a good fireman pole??).
I am on the fifth day of my pre-surgery diet plan and it is going very well. I am down 8lbs as of this morning, however in the evenings I have been having a big spoonful of peanut butter. I know, there are worse things that I could be shoving down my gob, but I still shouldn't be doing it at all. The whining of an emotional eater.... I know, suck it up princess and get with the program.
I still find it hard to explain to people why I am doing this. While my family and friends are supportive I know some of them are still thinking (and saying) why not just diet and just get over it. I don't have a good answer. Do you really think telling an alcoholic to just stop drinking will work? No, probably not. Or a drug addict to just walk away from that life? Nope. Addicts of any sort need help and many some kind of intervention. I see this surgery as a self-imposed intervention in my life.
There are a number of drugs available for alcoholics to help them not feel pleasure from their drinking, or reduce their cravings. There isn't really anything like that for people who are addicted to food. Addicts turn to their drug of choice in order to avoid something. For me it was to avoid negative feelings, bullying, and a number of other situations in my youth. It has been going on so long that it has now become a habit or addiction. This surgery is going to change my outlook on food. For a long time after surgery I will no longer be able to turn to food for comfort or to hide from my emotions. After a hard day of children destroying my house, sitting down with a bit of pureed moose meat just won't do it like a bowl of ice cream would. It will break my cycle of addiction by decreasing my dependence on food. I will be forced to face my emotions and deal with them (hopefully in a positive manner and not by beating anyone with a stick).
I am going to detox.
I don't think I will be much fun to be around.
Run if you see me carrying a stick.
Now something positive! Thank you to all of the Faroites that read this blog. I have been getting a lot of support around town. In passing I will get a "Oh I just read the blog. Good luck!" or a "I have been following your struggles and we are rooting for you." How is it we managed to pick such a fabulous community to call home? I appreciate all of the kindness that Faroites are so willing to offer!