Miserable doesn't even begin to describe how I am feeling right now.
Yesterday I headed out (in sub zero temperatures since Spring has decided to avoid us for now) for my run. I have moved my running training to outside to prepare for my 5k run up in Mayo. Only about 500m from my house, I rolled my ankle out on some gravel (it gave a very audible pop) and down I went. As I skidded on my hands/knees/face down the road all I could think was thank god no one was around to see that fail in action!
I laid on my stomach for a while... and then got myself on my arse for a while... And then realized that no one was going to rescue me so I had better head for home. I thought I had just sprained my ankle and somehow I limped back up the hill to home.
Matt was on call and he took me down to the Health Centre for x-rays. The misery started when I looked up at the screen when he said, "Sorry sweetie, it is broken." I could even tell on the x-ray that I was broken. The distal end of my fibula is fractured. Broke the tip of it right off down in my ankle. I fell apart then and started sobbing.
Sobbing over a broken ankle? I know, drama llama.... But I have plans! Big plans! Huge plans that are royally screwed over by a broken ankle.
Epic trip around the Yukon with my girlfriends? On, but not sure what shape I will be in.
5k run up in Mayo? Out.
Training for my hike? Out.
53km hike of the Chilkoot trail on July 3? Don't know.
Right now I am still sitting here in Faro. On Monday we will hear from the surgeon as the whether or not I need surgery. If not, I will still have to drive the 400k to town to get a cast put on. I did the unthinkable and googled my injury. Healing time? A long fucking time.
I am disappointed. I feel bad for my hiking partner. I feel bad for the friends that signed up for the 5k run with me.
I am worried about the effects of being forced to sit here and do nothing for weeks. I am a stress eater and am going to have to manage my eating to the utmost level. Other commitments like the sewing projects I am doing with the Youth Group and volunteering at our Crane & Sheep festival are all going to be on hold. I don't even know how I am going to manage my own kids at this point.
In November I will be having my skin surgery and have been dreading the healing time afterwards because I will have to sit and do nothing for weeks on end. And now I am being forced to do that twice in one year. I am going to lose my mind.
Perhaps later this week I will be back to my happy self and see some sort of positive in this heap of misery.