Sleep Sense

For the first two years of being parents, we had it pretty darn good. Hunter was a great sleeper after we got through those first three or four months of infancy. At six months old we could lay him in bed and he would talk himself to sleep and that continued until just before we had Cavan.

During our month long wait in Whitehorse to have Cavan, we got into the bad habit of sitting in Hunter's room until he fell asleep. We would sing songs, give him milk, whatever it took to coax him to sleep. Then when we arrived home it just got progressively worse. Hunter would kick up a big stink at bedtime and we were worried that he would wake the baby. It got to the point that a year later he required six stuffed animals, two pillows, a blanket, a sippy cup of milk and a parent in bed (usually singing) with him every night until he fell asleep. Then we even got to the point where one of us slept in his bed with him most of the night.

I turned into a big suck hole for Cavan and have rocked him to sleep for the last fourteen months. But lately it was taking over an hour to get him to sleep. And then he was sleeping so lightly, that just trying to set him in his crib, or flushing the toilet would wake him up. He has also been waking up between 3 and 8 times a night. Since he was born, I think we have only had one eight hour stretch of him sleeping.

Matt and I have been running on empty for months. I don't mind admitting our faults because I know there are other parents out there going through the same issues and wondering if they are the only one. Nope! You are not alone!! I found we just got to the point where we would do anything for sleep, but really we weren't getting any sleep in the end.

So this week we knew we had to get on top of the sleeping issue. I heard from a friend about the Sleep Sense program. I know, some of you are saying, "Kara, just get some common sense and get those kids to bed." But really, you start to feel like nothing will work and you are all alone and no one knows how to help. I paid just under $100 for the program which included a book, workbook, some email support, some phone support, and instructional videos. The gist of the program is a strict before bed routine and then having the kids self-sooth themselves to sleep. The parents decide which route to take in checking on the kids (there are a number of options) and it is very accommodating.

When reading through the manual I felt instantly at ease. Every single issue we have had is dealt with in it!! Seriously, ever single issue. Even Hunters favorite scream until you barf technique. Matt and I made a plan and tonight was the night! Of course, being my luck Matt is on call and was called out to work at 6:30pm and who knows when he will be home. So it was up to me.

The routine was started at twenty to seven and it included a bath, pj's, snack, stories with milk, kisses & hugs, and then going to bed at just after 7pm. Originally I planned to check in on Cavan every 10 minutes. However, Hunter proved to be such a handful, I never got into Cavan's room once. Cavan cried for 35 minutes (the longest I have ever let him cry for) and then he was done. Kaput! I barely heard him cry over the cacophony of Hunter. Hunter got out of his bed anywhere from 2 to 4 times a minute for 50 minutes. I put him back into his bed over 100 times tonight. That kid is stubborn! The funniest is he would take his one puppy that he is now allowed, would come to his door and throw the puppy out! Then thirty seconds later would cry for his puppy. Most times I never talked to him, just picked him up, took him to his bed and tucked him in.

Both kids are in such a deep sleep that I was able to do the dishes, clean the kitchen, and flush the toilet and no one has woken up. Now we will see how the rest of the night goes. If they wake up in the night they have to learn to put themselves back to sleep. We have time limits for how long to let each kid cry before we check on them in the middle of the night. But even then we are not going to get into bed with Hunter, hand out milk, or take Cavan out of his crib. I know this will work, it will just take time.

I am hoping that in a couple of weeks we are all sleeping through the night and are much happier for it. Parents- you are not alone with sleep issues! I will update our progress on here as we work through our sleep issues.

Sweet dreams everyone!